No coincidence: On the birthday of Pope Francis, lightning struck a statue of St. Peter, the first pope, destroying the keys the statue was holding and its halo outside a church in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where Francis served as cardinal. The lightning strike was also the day before Francis released “Fiducia Supplicans,” which says it’s possible to give “non-liturgical blessings” to people in “irregular relationships” a discernable euphemism for sin.
Academy Awards preview: “Killers of the Flower Moon” is a film about whitey doing bad things to people of color. Playing Hollywood’s leftism card, Marty Scorsese will earn several Academy nominations.
Finest new product: Cracker Jacks introduced a new version called Cracker Jill. Cracker Jill is black and the first black female to identify as a cracker since Condoleezza Rice came out as conservative.
Ballots and masks: If you are still wearing a mask while driving alone, the Biden 2024 bumper sticker is unnecessary.
The freaks don’t always come out at night: Susanna Gibson, a candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates livestreamed herself sharing in sex acts with her husband. She even requested tips from viewers in “raising money for a good cause.” Gibson is the personification of the Democrat Party in America.
Question: With the Bidens’ facing charges of multimillion-dollar tax fraud, perjury, influence selling and bribery, do you still believe Joe Biden’s claim he never discussed his son’s business?
Woke medal: The NAACP and two LGBTQ+ organizations issued “travel advisories” suggesting Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s effort to remove critical race theory and adult sexuality from classrooms “put people at risk.”
The chanting democrat: State Sen. Machaela Cavanaugh chants on floor of the Nebraska legislature for more than two minutes, proving insanity comes in many degrees.
Best tasteless joke: Cocaine was found in the West Wing library of the White House, has authorities still trying to snort it out.
Presidential prediction: Democrats drop Biden and replace him with either Gavin Newsome or Michelle Obama.
Word of the year: In a nod to longtime journalist Mark Gilger: “Gilgerized” is a lengthy written news’ story or column. If it wasn’t for an established word count, “gilgerized” would be this space – weekly. In honor of Mr. Gilger this week it is.
Photo of the year: Donald Trump climbing into his limousine to be arraigned with the store sign for “Banana Republic” in the background.
Paradox for our times: A pro-abortion group estimates abortion declined by seven percent since Roe v. Wade was overturned. In 2022, Republicans lost seats in the House they would have won, and the nation gained 50,000 or so people it would have lost.
DSM addition: Trump Derangement Syndrome (TSD) needs to be included in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
A tragedy of epic proportion: The Sisters of Perpetual of Indulgence have more “vocations” than the Sisters of Charity who taught me in grade school.
Coldest cut: Good Humor Ice Cream discontinued their longstanding Toasted Almond bar. Slow sales and prioritizing other items sentenced the treat to the dust bin of ice cream history.
Not Black enough: Afro-Cuban Enrique Tarrio, labeled the white supremist leader of the January 6, 2021, Capitol Hill Riot, received a 22-year prison sentence. Provided Tarrio claimed he was joining a Black Lives Matter Riot, he would be conviction free, counting their donations.
Fate’s iron: For the first time, the U.S. women’s soccer team did not advance beyond the final 16 after losing to Sweden when Megan Rapinoe missed her penalty kick. Fittingly, the ball went well to the right.
Playing the under: Bob Barker passed away 20 years after he retired from a 50-year run hosting game shows that included The Price is Right. Barker died at the age of 99, just three months shy of a 100. That is about as close as you can get to a century without going over.
Another thing that makes you go hmm: The case of Tafari Campbell, the personal chef to former President Barack Obama, who passed away under questionable circumstances that conveniently just faded away.
Foretelling future: In May, the U.S. Department of Education announced that eighth grade test scores of history and civics were the lowest level ever.
NIMBY award: Democrats have incentivized border crossings through amnesty and sanctuary cities. New York City Mayor Eric Adams, “I don’t see an ending to this. This issue will destroy New York City. We’re getting 10,000 migrants a month.” Adams underscored the city’s $12 billion deficit and the need to cut every service in the city.
One suggestion: Writing in the Wall Street Journal, Lance Morrow suggested the country is bouncing along like Custer on the way to the Little Big Horn.
The solution: The date 12/31/23 when added together equals twelve. Readers of Farmer’s Almanac know 12 is a “master number meaning spiritual enlightenment.” This is certainly something the American Republic desperately needs.
To honor the memory of my longtime friend and Marine veteran who, along with his son, gave his life in the defense of their home during Hurricane Sandy in Staten Island, the 11th annual John Filipowicz Award has two winners: When former Shamokin Mayor Jim Yurick knows someone is in need, he cooks up his famous Firehouse burgers – a staple of the Shamokin Area for the last three decades. With the much-anticipated opening of the Welsh Center in Coal Township, former township commissioner Gene Welsh Jr., generously endowed $200,000 toward the $2 million price tag.
Latest from RTV — "WE CANNOT OBEY!" Pope Resisted by Catholic Bishops Worldwide