Thus far the investigation has turned up nothing beyond what we have already heard ad nauseam since last September: the claim that “Russian hackers” hacked the email accounts of John Podesta (who fell for a crude phishing scheme a teenager could have conducted from his parents’ basement) and the DNC. The result of this dastardly interference in our corrupt political process is that Americans learned the ugly truth about the Party of Satan, from whose governance the nation has miraculously been spared for a time (even if the “Deep State” refuses to accept the election result).
The “Russian investigation” threatens to assume the longevity of the case of Jarndyce and Jarndyce in Dickens’ Bleak House. What we have an investigation in search of something—anything—to investigate for the sole purpose of keeping the investigation alive. The investigation is the thing! The investigation must never end. For whoever is “under investigation” is under a cloud. Trump must always be under a cloud, lest he be unimpaired in his attempt actually to succeed in fulfilling his promises, thereby demonstrating the fraudulence, corruption and utter incompetence of the political establishment now trying to expel him from its midst like a “foreign body,” as Monica Crowley has put it.
Thus just today (March 10) CNN, the Concocted News Network, ran a breathless headline story on “The super-secret division in charge of the Russia investigation.” Zounds! Trump must be in serious jeopardy if not merely a secret but a super-secret agency is involved in the “Russia investigation.” But one might ask: The investigation of what, exactly? Not the point! The point is that we have an investigation, and what is more, a super-secret investigation!
The CNN piece—to which no fewer than three reporters contributed and which reads like the product of eager beaver journalism students—devotes more than a thousand words to an effort to make something out of what appears to be an investigation of nothing beyond the possibility of something to investigate:
“Somewhere in the halls of the J. Edgar Hoover building in Washington, a closely held number of FBI agents face the daunting task of determining how the Russian government sought to manipulate the US presidential election.”
What? But if we don’t know “how the Russian government sought to manipulate the US presidential election,” then how do we know there was manipulation in the first place? Moreover, have we not already heard from the FBI, back in October, that it had found no evidence of the imaginary “collusion” between the Trump campaign and “the Russians” even after snooping into Trump’s computer server?
Ah, but that is why there is a “super-secret” investigation! To see if there is anything further to investigate! A “daunting task” indeed!
“It’s a case that’s been the subject of endless speculation in Washington and beyond.”
What “case”? It doesn’t matter. There must be an investigation to see if there is a case—a case of anything.
“But to those tasked with getting to the bottom of the allegations and innuendo, it's just another ‘standard counterintelligence investigation,’ as one highly placed US official put it.
Since when do multiple federal agencies, including a “super-secret” one, devote their time and resources to investigating mere “allegations and innuendo”? Since the election of Donald Trump, who must be investigated for something as long as he is in office. Why? Because he should never have been elected. It was all a huge mistake. Indeed, Trump’s victory itself must be investigated—endlessly—until the investigators find something that might undo his Presidency. Or not. Just so long as there is an investigation.
“Welcome to the super-secret world of the Counterintelligence Division, home to the spy catchers of the FBI.”
Spy catchers? Does this mean that Russian spies are alleged to be involved with Trump or his associates? Not at all! But they could be. You never know. After all, associates of Trump met with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak—along with half of the Washington establishment, Kislyak being diplomat, after all. But as CNN informs us, Kislyak “is considered by US intelligence to be one of Russia’s top spies and spy-recruiters in Washington.”
Just a moment. Who exactly is “US intelligence”? What sort of “top spy” is known to be a top spy and a recruiter of spies? And why would a known “top spy” and spy recruiter not have been expelled from the United States for espionage? It seems that “top spy” is just another way of saying “ambassador who sees things”—as in “he espied a light in the distance.” But “top spy” does sound suitably sinister. Clearly, an investigation is called for.
The “top spy” allegation may be ludicrous on its face, but that hardly matters. We just don’t know what Kislyak might be up to. This top spy fellow might be actually be engaged in spying. And Trump, or people connected to Trump, or people once connected to Trump, or people connected to people connected to Trump, could be assisting Kislyak, or people connected to Kislyak, or people once connected to Kisylak, or people connected to people connected to Kislyak, in what could be spying or activity related to spying.
Really, the investigative possibilities are endless. That is why there must be a never-ending, constantly expanding “Russia investigation” of whatever there is to investigate about “the Russians”—they being “the Russians,” after all! Surely something will turn up. As the Concocted News Network explains:
“In the Russia investigation, for instance, there's been abundant speculation about the significance of meetings between people connected to President Donald Trump and Russian Ambassador to the US Sergey Kislyak.
“A meeting in itself means nothing, said Mike Rogers, a former FBI agent and Republican congressman from Michigan.
'‘First of all, they have to find a crime,’ Rogers, a CNN national security commentator, said of the agents.”
There we have it right from the mouth of CNN’s own “national security commentator”: they have to find a crime.
But since when do federal agencies, especially super-secret ones, conduct investigations because they “have to find a crime” when there is no allegation that a crime has been committed? Since the election of Donald J. Trump, of course. And the super-secret Counter-Intelligence Division is ideally suited to what the situation demands: an endless investigation in search of something to investigate. As CNN observes:
“Their cases sometimes go on for years amid careful, tedious, behind-the-scenes work aimed at recruiting or neutralizing foreign spies. One reason for the long, drawn-out investigations is that their cases rarely are as cut and dried as bank robbery or kidnapping.”
An investigation that goes on for years. A tedious, long, drawn-out investigation. An investigation that might last throughout Trump’s term and even a second term, should he manage to win in 2020. That’s the ticket!
But meetings with a Russian ambassador are not crimes. They are perfectly legal activity in which numerous Democrats who met the same ambassador have also engaged. And we already know that the FBI’s prior surveillance of President Obama’s political opponent turned up no evidence of “collusion” between the Trump campaign and “the Russians.” Thus, it would appear that there is no crime to be found. So just what is the “super-secret” Counter-Intelligence Division investigating? CNN has the answer:
“Rarely do they [CD investigations] result in criminal prosecutions…”
In other words, there is no crime to investigate. There is only the investigation itself—the careful, tedious, never-ending investigation of whether there is something to investigate, for one can always continue to investigate whether there is something to investigate. The process is infinitely extendible as it has no determined end or other limitation.
Behold the Russia Investigation. The Russia Investigation must continue so that CNN, the rest of liberal media and their Democrat partners can continue to cover it with panting urgency in order to maintain the impression that Trump has somehow usurped the Presidency and must be driven from office. That way no one will notice that the Democrats have no message and nothing to offer the American people beyond more contraception, more abortion and more sodomy.
The Russia Investigation is the longest running fake news story in the history of the liberal media. It is yet another unprecedented development occasioned by the impossible rise of Donald J. Trump to the highest office in the land.