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Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Safety First: Lowe's to remove all sharp objects from shelves

By:   Christine DeSimone
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Safety First: Lowe's to remove all sharp objects from shelves

A new item from Allium-Cepa News Network:

In a new customer-safety initiative, Lowe's home improvement warehouses today announced that they would be removing all sharp or pointy objects from store shelves.  "Customer and Associate safety is our top priority," declared Rich Scareborough, Lowe's Vice President of Safety.

Lowe's comprehensive new policy removes all potentially dangerous products from store shelves.  In some cases, product substitutions will be made, such as in the cases of rubber nails and rounded screwdrivers. But other products will not be returning.  "Saw blades are right out,"

declared Scareborough.  "Home improvement will never be the same" has become the conventional wisdom.

Changes will also be made to the stores themselves.  For instance, all aisle endcaps will now be lined with pillows and the entirety of the floor will be covered with yellow caution tape bearing the admonition "Watch Your Step".  Also from now on, customers will be required to wear helmets at all times while inside Lowe's retail outlets.  As Mr. Scareborough reminds, "You can't be too careful".

A new focus on safety was sparked during the recent Coronavirus pandemic, when Americans suddenly realized that their homes and communities were not as safe as they could possibly be.  Lowe's new policy mirrors those in other retail sectors also trying to improve safety, such as restaurants replacing all utensils with "sporks" and grocery stores requiring all patrons to drive "mart karts".

Although Lowe's does acknowledge that these new measures may be somewhat inconvenient for customers, Scareborough says "If even just one life is saved, then it will all have been worth it."

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Last modified on Wednesday, May 20, 2020