Minnesota heads back into lockdown.
In the inscrutable wisdom of our gubernatorial chancellor, it has been determined that we the people mustn't celebrate Thanksgiving this year with more than ten members of our family.
This measure will not only keep us safe, of course, but will also provide us with a welcome opportunity to prove both compliance and party loyalty.
It will also provide greater opportunity for the Health Gestapo to work out some of the kinks in their contact tracing surveillance network before Field Marshal Biden takes command.
This new order is very much in compliance, by the way, with the directives of Central High Command, which has already called for home invasions for the purposes of removing family members who may be feeling a bit under the weather:
I don't know about you, but I feel much safer now!
Never mind that here in Minnesota more of our family members are dying from gunshots than from COVID, the main thing to keep in mind is that the Party has our backs.
I can't wait to see how the governor "reimagines" enforcement of his new lockdown orders after the wardens of our democracy have defunded our police. After the Great Reset, nothing will be impossible here in the New Order.
One small quibble, if I may: If the lockdown measures didn't vanquish the "invisible enemy of the Fatherland" the first time around, why will they do so now? Back in the halcyon days of the Old Normal, doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, was a widely accepted definition of insanity.
But that was then, I suppose. Now we're in a New and Glorious Normal, where looking for logic is proof of the white privilege we all need to check at the door.
Speaking of übermenches, NYC's Mayor de Blasio has decided to save a few more lives than he already has by cracking down on folks planning holiday gatherings:
The holidays we associate with travel and the holidays we associate with big indoor gatherings, big meals together – that, unfortunately, this year can’t be the case,” de Blasio said in a Monday press conference.
It seems the election fraud is in danger of eclipsing the COVID crisis. The country briefly encountered a real problem and, at least for a week or so, everybody forgot about the COVID "casedemic". Can't let that continue!
So just in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas, the lockdown is on. After all, it's so much safer to stay out in the streets, break a few windows and chuck bricks at whatever cops are left out there than risk associating with dangerous family members who don't care about Grandma.
No doubt some enemies of the people would prefer to take their chances with COVID rather than languish in Gulag Stay Safe. But, when you think about it....well, what right do we have to think when supermen like Tim Walz are out there every day doing our thinking for us?
Covid über alles, baby, über alles in der Welt.