The Catholic Church has been working for years to increase its ministry to Hispanics. In a blog post this week, Sister Mary Ann Walsh, the spokeswoman for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, noted that the church is now requiring many seminarians to learn Spanish, that there has been an increase in the number of Hispanic deacons, and that there are Hispanic bishops heading several large dioceses, including in Los Angeles, San Antonio, Sacramento and San Diego.
But she acknowledged the challenge.
Hmmm…let’s see if we can put two and two together here for a second and solve this conundrum for our friends at the USCCB.
First, what do we know? We know that the Church in the U.S. has been working “for years to increase its ministry to Hispanics.” It has also been providing countless Spanish Masses, Hispanic deacons, and the Pope has been appointing Hispanic bishops for large Hispanic dioceses.
We also know that despite these efforts Hispanic Catholics have been leaving the Conciliar Church in droves. Why? Sister Mary Ann Walsh says it’s because of religious relativism!
Really? Now what in the world could be the cause of this dastardly religious relativism? How in the world could Hispanic Catholics in the U.S. get the CRAZY idea that one religion is as good as another?
Could Pope Francis sending a video message to a Protestant televangelist calling him a “brother bishop” have given them this idea?” Maybe Cardinal O’Malley getting anointed by a Methodist minister? Maybe Cardinal DiNardo allowing his Co-Cathedral to be used for a Methodist “ordination” ceremony?
What about Vatican II? We hear a lot about that. Isn’t that being preached in the pulpits? What does it have to say about members of non-Catholic Christian denominations?
Hmmm. What else does Vatican II have to say about Protestant denominations?
Interesting. So if one works off the assumption that it makes no difference what religion one belongs to, how in the world do we keep Hispanic Catholics in the Church? Well, we can try to provide Masses in Spanish, give them Hispanic deacons, and appoint Hispanic bishops. Wait a second, we’re already doing that. It isn’t working.
Well, millions of Latin American Catholics are leaving the Church for the Protestant Charismatic movement. Let’s give them some “exciting” praise and worship through some “Charismatic Masses.” Also let’s add in some “rousing preachers” if that’s what they are leaving for.
But wait. Can’t they always get better Charismatic services and music and rousing preaching from the Protestants? Isn’t that what the Protestants specialize in?
Ok, I’m thinking outside the box here and I know this is going to sound crazy. But didn’t the Jesuits convert the entire populous of Latin America from the 1500’s on? Yes! So how did they do it? Well…they had the Council of Trent and the Traditional Latin Mass. Hmmm, fascinating! You mean the natives gave up their pagan practices and rituals and converted to Catholicism en masse through these missionary efforts? Yes. And they didn’t even have Mass in their native language? No.
Wow! This must mean that the natives were looking for something no other religion could provide. They were looking for the one true Church founded by God Himself to bring salvation to mankind. They were looking to participate in the redemptive act of Christ in the most intimate way possible through His Holy Mass. And to do this, they did not have to understand a single word of the Missal. And once converted they would never think to leave such a treasure of sanctifying grace for the showmanship of false sects.
A very interesting concept indeed and what fruits! However, as we know, this would never work in our modern age. Surely we can’t expect our Hispanic brothers and sisters in 2014 to be attracted to the Truth in our doctrine and reverence in our Masses. Surely it is not ecumenical to tell them that they cannot save their soul in any religion but the true religion. This would be most uncharitable.
Luckily we have one last recourse. No matter what nationality one is, one has to like mariachi music. After all, whenever one goes to a Mexican restaurant, who can resist being happy when the mariachi band plays! And in this my dear USCCB, we have the answer: Mariachi Masses! If we simply provide more mariachi music there is no possible way our Hispanic brothers and sisters will leave the Church.
Hit it boys!
Mariachi Mass - Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish, San Antonio (2011)
Blessed Miguel Pro, Pray for Us!