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Thursday, December 30, 2021

2021 Rearview Awards

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2021 Rearview Awards

As the days gradually begin to lengthen and 2021 has been deposited into the annals of history, the time for the annual Rearview Awards has arrived.    

Prick of the year: Dr. Tony Fauci, a Brooklyn native no less, seems to take joy in every new COVID variant and then doubles down on the inoculation and booster express.

Greatest lie: Politicians embellish and exaggerate, but Joe Biden’s claim that his “Build Back Better” legislation “costs zero dollars” is the year’s biggest and grandest canard.   

Unsurpassed purchase: Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman bought England’s Newcastle United soccer team with the condition that the stadium be made available for Islamic stonings. Provided the team doesn’t win, heads are guaranteed to roll.

Best Bumper Sticker: Make Orwell Fiction Again

Preeminent photo: A total of six photos where Mark Zuckerberg morphs into Jen Psaki. Ironically, you never see the two of them together.

Best Bumper Sticker: Make Orwell Fiction Again

Political bozo: George W. Bush who politicized 9/11 by equating it to the Capitol Hill protests on January 6, 2021. I expect that from Democrats, but GWB? Telling.

Question of the year:  Have you seen anyone wearing a Build Back Better hat?

Most annoying: Kamala Harris’ laugh or Jen Psaki’s condescending smirk.

Snowflake medal:  Santa Claus. The jolly elf has been barred on campuses throughout our fruited plain from saying his longstanding “ho-ho-ho” because it offends Kamala Harris.

Broken clock plaque: Joe Biden was actually right. Last January, Biden said of the COVID vaccine: “I don’t think it should be mandatory.”

Best Meme: The difference between CNN and the Titanic is, CNN had all its anchors when it sank.

Historic Anagram: Omnicom = Moronic.

Best Book nonfiction: “The Dying Citizen” by Victor Davis Hanson, a senior fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University, writes potently how leftists are undermining citizenship, sovereign borders and destroying the middle class.

Name of the year: Apophis. The name was the ancient Egyptian spirit of evil and destruction.  Apophis is an asteroid that will come closer to earth than most satellites.  It is  scheduled to pass us on April 13, 2029. NASA defines it as “one of the most important near-Earth asteroids ever discovered” and provided the asteroid were to hit the earth Apophis would cause “major damage to our planet and likely to our civilization as well.”

TV game show pitch: Millennial Fear Factor. Millennials must survive one hour without being offended.

Wittiest farewell: Bob Dole saying he hopes heaven is as beautiful as Kansas and that he looks forward to voting in Chicago.

TV game show pitch: Millennial Fear Factor. Millennials must survive one hour without being offended.

Snowflake medal:  Santa Claus. The jolly elf has been barred on campuses throughout our fruited plain from saying his longstanding “ho-ho-ho” because it offends Kamala Harris.

Best faux accent: Brian Kelley LSU’s new football coach. The Massachusetts native sounded more Cajun than a Louisiana shrimp boat captain, after being introduced to the LSU faithful at a basketball game.  

Truly duplicitous: Joe Biden driving through Rome in an 85-car motorcade to meet Pope Francis and strategize about how to overcome the “climate crisis.”

Company of the year: Fenix Ammunition of Michigan asks visitors to their website if they voted for Biden. If so, they are redirected to Biden’s campaign homepage preferring not to sell to Biden’s supporters because he is the most anti-gun presidential administration in history.  

Word of the year: Altricial: An adjective describing those who are helpless and require parental care lasting decades. It’s synonym: Snowflake.

Most miserly:  Bucknell football had a promotion where they would donate $100 to a local food bank for every sack this season. They were at $200 by week five. Bucknell should have donated $100 for every point their porous defense allowed as the local food bank would have reaped a windfall of $41,700.

To honor the memory of my longtime friend and U.S. Marine who, along with his son, gave his life in the defense of their home during Hurricane Sandy in Staten Island, the ninth annual John Filipowicz Ironman Award: Kulpmont, PA native son, Walter Lutz.  Lutz, a septuagenarian, took on a healthy dose of the historic and challenging Appalachian Trail throughout the summer in order to raise funds for a new fire truck for the volunteer Kulpmont Fire Department.

There is much more but space is limited. No need to fret. In order to keep this New Year’s party going, part two is next week.

Lucky you.

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Last modified on Thursday, December 30, 2021
Greg Maresca | Remnant Columnist

Maresca writes from Northumberland County, Pennsylvania.

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