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Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Election 2020: The Ave Maria Game

By:   Robert Morrison
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Election 2020: The Ave Maria Game

It had been four years since the last big game, when the Patriots of Light (the Lights) had narrowly prevailed against the Angels of Darkness (the Darks) in a contest for the ages. Under ordinary circumstances, the Lights would have enjoyed four years of celebration and the usual prerogatives of the victors. Instead, the Darks had harassed the Lights and their supporters to the extent that merely identifying oneself with the Lights was enough to begin every business and personal interaction at a disadvantage.

How is it that winning had felt so much like losing for the Lights? As it turns out, almost everyone that controls media, entertainment, education, business, and government despised the star quarterback for the Lights, DT.  DT played quarterback like a bull in a china-shop. He was a powerhouse of a man who taunted his opponents mercilessly, but the Lights loved him because he was ready to lose life and limb fighting for his team. The Darks had never been able to accept that a man like DT could be quarterback, so they acted like he had attained his position through deceit. Because they controlled everything, they simply had to assert something for it to take on the weight of fact. As a result, DT, the Lights and their supporters had spent their four years of celebration fighting unjust attacks from the Darks and their supporters.

For this year’s game, the Darks had made an odd selection for quarterback. Instead of choosing a strong man who could lead, they chose JB, a washed-up phony who could no longer understand the plays, let alone run them. Whereas the Darks despised DT’s tendency to tell locker room lies, they were oddly impressed by JB’s willingness to lie about ever having been in a locker room. It was almost as if they were trying to lose.

The differences in quarterbacks was amplified by the ways in which the teams prepared for this year’s game. Over time, the game had evolved so that the team that prepared best always won, and the margin of victory always reflected the difference in how the teams prepared. In that sense, the game had simply become the formal manifestation of the reality that had already been determined before the teams took the field. It was almost like the game was a tallying of votes in an election. The Lights prepared for the game like a team that understood this. Led by DT, they worked harder, smarter and longer than they had in preparation for the previous game.

JB took a different approach with his team’s preparations. He called off most practices and focused on staying out of the public eye. Indeed, the only real “preparation” for the Darks consisted of continued harassment of the Lights and DT. They even foreshadowed a loss by repeatedly telling reporters that it would look like they were losing the game until a few days after the game, when the tide would turn their way. Given that no team that had the lead after halftime had ever lost, this foreshadowing seemed bizarre.

On game day the stadium was packed with the Lights supporters, with their red, white and blue jerseys. DT had so inspired them with his enthusiasm that they finally felt like they had won four years ago and they knew they would win again. The Darks supporters were not well-represented in the stands but were conspicuously over-represented amongst the stadium officials, referees, press, and league officials.

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DT propelled his team to an early lead, pacing the Lights to a much more substantial projected margin of victory than they had had four years ago. By the third quarter, the Lights were on their way to blowout victory. Their preparation and game plan had been vindicated, and this time they would not let the Darks steal their enjoyment of winning.

Then the officials inexplicably stopped the game and sent the fans home. A few hours later, the press reported that the Darks had taken the lead. DT and the Lights were stunned, both by the stunning change of events and the irregular way in which it was happening. Almost unbelievable accounts of what happened started to surface: some people had seen the referees carry JB across the goal line with the football and then signal a touchdown; other people saw the scoreboard operator transfer points from the Lights to the Darks; many people reported seeing the grounds crew move the goal line to make it easier for the Darks to score; and still others saw the entire Darks team on the field to block DT. Whatever actually happened, everyone with sense knew that the game was being stolen from the Lights by the Darks.

At first, the Lights supporters were outraged. Both the Lights and the Darks occasionally committed fouls and were penalized accordingly, but there was no way to explain what happened based on any ordinary sense of a foul. From any honest vantage point, the Darks had conspired with the referees, press, scoreboard operators, and grounds crew to steal the game. It would not have been any more egregious if the Darks had driven their team bus onto the field and run over DT and his entire offense. There should be no question of who won — the only question should be whether the Darks and their crooked enablers would face jail time in addition to being permanently banned from the sport.

As the days and weeks passed after the game, it was evident to the Lights that common sense was unlikely to prevail. They had immediately insisted that the league intervene to resolve the irregularities; they were met with feigned incredulity. When the league reluctantly agreed to investigate, they appointed the referees who had officiated the game as the independent investigators. It became increasingly clear that the entire game had been rigged from the beginning. Everything began to make sense. Of course they could select JB, for he never had to play. Of course they had not needed to prepare, for they only needed to show up and let the referees deliver the game to them.

DT kept fighting but many of his supporters started to give up. Many of the supporters who should have been fighting faded into the woodwork, for they were always somewhat embarrassed by DT’s brash style and liked the idea of watching JB play the fool for the next four years. They knew that giving up meant that there would never be another fair game, but they did not have the fortitude to fight. As Edmund Burke wrote, “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” — sadly, those who once considered themselves to be good men had warmed up to the idea of identifying as cowards, for they considered themselves to be in good company.

Still, those who cared about the sport knew that they would look back with regret and shame if they walked away at any point prior to either victory or a complete explanation of the irregularities. And so it was that the true Lights finally decided that they had only one play remaining, their last Hail Mary. They got on their knees and prayed the Ave Maria. Some things are too important to leave to anyone other than Jesus Christ and His Mother.

And so it was that the Ave Maria game got its name. The Lights prayed as though their lives depended on it and then the miraculous happened: the darkness was dispelled and truth prevailed. As Jesus told His disciples, “For, amen, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, remove from hence hither, and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you” (Matthew 17:19).

Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us!

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Last modified on Wednesday, December 9, 2020