| They're Back! Church Bulletins! Thank
God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
husbands.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due
to a conflict.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile
at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Maso n sang, "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the
choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment, and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
-------------
-------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
is done.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
----------------------------------------------------------
----------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours". |
